1. Naps are excellent tools for enhancing life and making it very pleasant. Naps can happen at any time and without warning. You must pick your nap spot with the greatest care so you won't be disturbed, and vary the location according to the time of day, season, and movement of the sun. Napping will make you a better person/cat/being. If you can arrange to have a nap companion, that is preferable. Take lots of naps.
2. Ask for what you want. Ask often. Ask loudly. Ask without ceasing. Ask and you shall receive -- (OK, Jesus taught this one, first, but Misty is an avid believer!). She also believes in the seek and ye shall find philosophy, with the added twist that she gets me to do her seeking -- for her toys. It's sort of like playing fetch with a dog, but in reverse. She hides them, I seek them.
3. Pay attention to your surroundings. Misty will notice if I move the living room sofa two inches to the right. Really. And if I add anything new to her/our environment, it must be fully inspected and approved. She's very thorough and she notices the least little change. If the change does not meet her approval, she lets me know about it in no uncertain terms. She has many ways of doing so, and none of them are nice. Accordingly, she almost always gets exactly what she wants. See # 2 above, since these two work in combination and synergy to great effect.
4. The entire world and all of humanity are at your beck and call. Explore, enjoy, live it up! Someone will always be there to open the food can, comfort and pet you when you need it, and otherwise take care of your every need. (This one works better if you are small, cute, furry and have four feet.)
5. Exercise is good for you. Stretching luxuriously, leaping on and off furniture, running in a mad dash from one end of the house to the other, chasing the little feather toy on the end of the stick -- all these are really good things to do, and you should do them often. Yoga is sort of acceptable, but it bores her quickly. She shows this by dragging her tail across my mouth, usually when I'm in downward dog position. (I have often wondered how she knows that's what the pose is called!)
6. Drink lots of pure, fresh water. On this lesson, she is most adamant. She has several water bowls around our house (at least four, for one cat!) and all of them must be kept fresh. She knows if it hasn't been changed in the last 2 minutes. Unless she sees you do it, it doesn't count. Water is very important and no compromise is ever allowed.
7. Personal grooming must be done often and with great care. Washing your face and paws is crucial, and keeping every hair in place requires your full attention. She allows us to comb her to assist in this task, but really, she does a smashing job on her own. If someone ruffles your fur, immediately smooth it back in place and go on as if nothing happened. This may be the most valuable of all Misty's lessons.
8. Everything in the Universe exists for your pleasure, fun, happiness, and if you expect only good, that's what you get. For instance, she expects love, comfort, care and adoration from her humans, and -- yep, you guessed it. She gets it. OK, as I reconsider, maybe this one is the most important. The Universe is a good place. Enjoy it!